Your duck is dead

Discussion in 'Humour' started by Topper, Jul 6, 2012.

  1. Topper

    Topper VIP Member VIP Member

    Your Duck is Dead--


    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.


    After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."


    The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"


    "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..


    "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."


    The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.


    The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.


    The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."


    The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..


    The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!" she cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"


    The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150."
     
    5 people like this.
  2. T3D

    T3D VIP Member VIP Member

    Oh dear :unsure::unsure:

    Tony
     
    2 people like this.
  3. Fat Bob

    Fat Bob VIP Member VIP Member

    I thought this was going to be a similar one to the monty python Parrot sketch hahahahahaha

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npjOSLCR2hE&feature=youtube_gdata_player
     
    2 people like this.
  4. Stu.P

    Stu.P FRIEND!! VIP Member

    Not bad haha.
    The monty python sketch haha that's funny :)
     
  5. Chickenstrips

    Chickenstrips New Member

  6. Bollakov

    Bollakov New Member

    i read that twice....
    i will never get them two mins back :doh:
     
  7. Dave

    Dave Moderator Staff Member

    Ha ha ha heard worse.
     
  8. lavinia

    lavinia Navigator Extraordinaire

    you've told worse :lmfao:
     
  9. XJR1300

    XJR1300 New Member

    what's up wih you all,is it because its clean and has a punchline, :lmfao: well i thought it was cool :bleh:
     

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