Night Out Application Form

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS

Name of Girlfriend/Fianc?/Partner/Wife:

I’m going out.

Signed: (me) _____________________________















........................................................................................................................






APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

Name of Boyfriend/Fianc?/Husband:

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following
period:

Date:

Time of departure:

Time of return NOT to exceed:

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the
stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak
to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile
after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for
a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if
permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fianc?/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me
the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

Amount of alcohol allowed (units)
Beer:
Wine:
Liquor:
Total:

Locations to be visited location: from: to:
location: from: to:
location: from: to:

Females with whom conversation is permitted

IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not withstanding the female contact permitted above,
I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic
dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of
the relationship.

I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree
it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost
me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards
whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree,
should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any
stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I
promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you
up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half),
the above information is correct.

Signed - Boyfriend/Fianc?/Husband:
Request is: APPROVED/DENIED
This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Permission for my boyfriend/fianc?/husband to be away for the following period of time:
Date:
Time of departure:
Time of return:
Signed – Girlfriend/Fianc?/Wife

 

Oh, I like this!