Men Rules

Discussion in 'Humour' started by MarkG, Feb 6, 2008.

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  1. MarkG

    MarkG New Member

    [align=center]The Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
    [/align]


    (Note: These have been around before, but they need repeating every so often in order that the Women DON'T forget!!!!!!!)
    Finally , the guys' side of the story.

    We always hear " the rules "
    From the female side.




    Now here are the rules from the male side.


    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
    ON PURPOSE!



    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Rugby
    or golf.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.


    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
     
  2. paul

    paul Administrator Staff Member

    lol good one :)
     
  3. Carrie

    Carrie New Member

    Lol! all very true...... :)
     
  4. bwfc4eva86

    bwfc4eva86 New Member

    Very very true!
     
  5. chadz

    chadz Guest

    loved that haha
     
  6. Guest

    Ha Ha Ha like that a lot 8)
     
  7. Carl

    Carl New Member

    pmsl
     
  8. kaos

    kaos Administrator VIP Member

    lets get this transferred to the printer!!
     
  9. Jade

    Jade New Member

    so so so true!!
     
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