A Blonde goes to Heaven

Discussion in 'Humour' started by Spanners, Mar 23, 2013.

  1. Spanners

    Spanners New Member

    A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry,'St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'

    'That's cool' said the Blonde,'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'

    'Just three questions' said St Peter.

    'Which are?' asked the Blonde.

    'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '? The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?'
    The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

    'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'

    So the Blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).

    The following morning, St Peter called upon the Blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'

    'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'

    The Blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

    St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

    'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'

    The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'

    'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'

    'Easy,' said the Blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

    St Peter looked at the Blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.

    A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

    The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'

    'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

    'It's Andy.'

    'Andy??'

    'Yes, Andy,' said the Blonde.

    This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'

    'Easy' said the Blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his billy boiled.'

    And the Blonde entered Heaven...



    ... you're singing it now, aren't you…??
     
  2. suzukisue

    suzukisue Inactive

    i dont get that... :(
     
  3. Vvtr

    Vvtr ( . )Y( . ) Turtle Z VIP Member

    :lol: that is funnier than the joke! :lmfao:
     
    4 people like this.
  4. suzukisue

    suzukisue Inactive

    thanks but did you get it ??
     
  5. suzukisue

    suzukisue Inactive

    its the Andy bit i dont get :doh:
     
    2 people like this.
  6. Jazzi

    Jazzi Listers Missus VIP Member

    I don't get it either.... :(

    Sent from my GT-N7000 using Tapatalk 2
     
    2 people like this.
  7. suzukisue

    suzukisue Inactive

    thank you so its not just blonds then ?
     
  8. lavinia

    lavinia Navigator Extraordinaire

    its obvious Im right up there with the blonde :) looks like I'm going to heaven unlucky Jazzy and sue you're going somewhere warm hehehehe
     
    4 people like this.
  9. Jazzi

    Jazzi Listers Missus VIP Member

    Sun tan time!

    Sent from my GT-N7000 using Tapatalk 2
     
    2 people like this.
  10. lavinia

    lavinia Navigator Extraordinaire

    the lyrics are and he sat.... the blonde thought it was andy sat so his name must be Andy !
     
  11. ExOldRacerGit

    ExOldRacerGit VIP Member VIP Member

    Got to show Patti this one, i know she's just going to Belt me 20 seconds later. sorry ladies it's shows how different we are! no affence(spelling) intended.
     
  12. Yazza54

    Yazza54 New Member

    Just numpties :D
     
  13. Cabernet

    Cabernet Smug to be riding the Moto Guzzi VIP Member

    Glad it's not just my humour . . . . .

    and he
    an de
    Andy

    Love it!
     
  14. Mozzersaints

    Mozzersaints MOZ VIP Member

  15. Jaymar

    Jaymar New Member

    :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:
     
  16. Jim27

    Jim27 Administrator Staff Member

    I was so amused I almost breathed.

    Almost.
     
  17. Vvtr

    Vvtr ( . )Y( . ) Turtle Z VIP Member

    Cba posting about the blonde who went to the parts dept to order a new 710 cap for her car......
     
    2 people like this.

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