101 Ways to know your a scouser

1. Everyone talks about "Stevie G" like he's their bezzie mate.
2. Everybody's name is preceded by 'our'. "Our Jake, Our Carl" etc.
3. Women wear hair rollers when not in a hair salon.
4. I mean, literally, on the street. In daylight.

5. You see someone carrying a Cricket bag. (This is nothing to do with cricket.)
6. You'll arrive ten minutes late to wherever you're going cos you booked a taxi with THAT firm. You know the one.
7. Or twenty minutes if you booked with the other one. (You know which one that is too).
8. "The bombed out church" is a legitimate meeting place.
9. But you know it's actually called St. Luke's. (Um).

10. You'll get asked whether you're a Red or a Blue?
11. "Ya ma" is still the best comeback of all time.
12. People will correct you on famous 'scousers' who are actually wools.
13. You know what a "wool" is (fake scouser). For example:
13. "Nicola Roberts is from Runcorn, not Liverpool".
14. "Mel C is actually from Widnes".
15. You've blatantly run through the fountains in Williamson Square at least once.

16. You don't care that the Liverpool Wheel is about 1/4 size of the London Eye...
17. ...or that it sways in the wind...
18. ...you still think it's boss.

19. You say "boss" when something is amazing.
20. And if someone is mean they're 'ar larse'.
21. Or "sly".
22. It's Home 'n' Bargain, not Home Bargains.
23. You'll lie about the fact your shoes are from St. John's.
24. You know what a Superlambanana is.

25. And all the other Lambananas...

26. They're boss.
27. You end up grinding in Bumper at 3am.
28. You get excited when you see the Magical Mystery Tour Bus.
29. You know what Soz Aba You means.
30. And use it / hear it all the time.
31. You'll make best friends with everyone in the loo on a night out...
32. You'll still be 'friends' with them a year later on Facebook and won't have a f*cking clue who they are.
33. Everyone acts like Creamfields is a national public holiday.
34. Ditto Aintree races.
35. The Daily Mail has slagged off your outfit at least once.
36. If you can't be arsed with something, someone will say "sack that lad".
37. Or simply, "be assed".
38. Or even just: "assed, lad".
39. You will get called "lad" whether or not you are female or male.
40. You might also get called "lid".
41. Or "lerd".
42. Or "la".
43. You will get called "kid" whether you're older or younger.
44. Especially when at Greggs.
44. You know that the Palm House in Sefton Park is super beautiful.

45. And that the Peter Pan statue and stepping stones are boss.
46. You know not to wear a Man Utd shirt. EVER.
47. You use the 86 like it's your own private taxi. Literally goes everywhere.
48. You know what this is:

49. And who this is:

50. People talk about Quiggins like a recently passed family member.
51. Your favourite place to watch films is the Box at FACT.
52. You'll get told to "go 'ed".
53. And when you leave: "in a bit".
54. You'll see a load of 14 year olds getting smashed in the Krazyhouse.
55. Someone will have had a birthday party at Caesar's Palace at least once.
56. You know what LIPA stands for.
57. At least one person has told you their cousin is in The Zutons.
58. Or that their aunt is Kim Cattrall.
59. Or that they're related to one of The Beatles.
60. You get excited when you spot a location you know in Hollyoaks.
61. You've hung out at The Mystery.
62. Everyone around you is still chuffed there's a Hilton.
63. You've blates got a sneaky bit of vodka in your handbag on a night out.
64. "Sneaky bit" = whole bottle of Glenn's mate.
65. This is a totes normal look:

66. As is this:

67. THIS ISN'T. Give it up.

68. But also you know this is true:

69. Mischief night is a much bigger event than Halloween.
70. Everyone HATES Gary Neville. Urgh.
71. You'll see a bunch of tourists hanging out around the Penny Lane sign.
72. And get roped into taking all of their photos.
73. You've had a drunken photo taken on this statue:

74. You know that the Anglican Cathedral is one of the most beautiful in the world...

75. ...and that the Metropolitan isn't too shabby either.
76. You know what "trabs/trebs" are. (Trainers)
77. You get confused when someone says to go to "The Other Place" and they mean the bistro on Allerton road.
78. You'll see people blatantly in their mid-20s trying to buy a child ticket on the bus.
79. You know the words to 'You'll Never Walk Alone' if you're a red or a blue or neither.
80. You know The Shipping Forecast as an amazing bar not something on Radio 4.
81. Crosby Beach is one of your favourite locations because of Another Place:

82. Everyone talks about THAT night in 2005 when Liverpool won the Champions' League against AC Milan, for the 5th time.

83. You've sat off on the grass at Chavasse Park in the sun.
84. You've spotted Jose Enrique or Leighton Baines in Liverpool One.
85. Someone's Mum will talk about the time she snogged Roger McGough.
86. Nobody ever, ever, ever buys The Sun. (Rest of the country: take note).
87. You know what the Yellow Duck is and want to go on it but are too ashamed.

88. You realise Tate Liverpool is actually quite good.
89. You will see people at Tesco wearing pyjamas and Ugg boots.
90. The off-licenses ("offy") have glass between you and the counter.
91. Everyone is super friendly.
92. You navigate around using the Radio City Tower.
93. You know what Africa Oye is and know that it's just as good as Notting Hill Carnival.
94. Doesn't matter what the season is someone'll be wearing a maxi dress.
95. You'll end up "resting" on the kerb on Hardman Street at least once on a night out.
96. Or having an awesome night at Chibuku.
98. You'll actually eat Scouse.
99. Someone will ask if they can have a bifter off you. (Cigarette)
99. You've eaten at the Moon & Pea.
100. You know this isn't a church but a bar:

101. Someone will tell you they're dressing down and then turn up like this:

SOUND.

 

Ya mar!

 

Deffo written by a wool

 

you mostly here teenagers saying this and its their way of saying, I feel ashamed for you

 

No mention of Radio City Breakfast show? Is right Rossi la! I hate 96.7 nothing worse than listening to the adverts of stupid sounding locals saying how much they love radio city. Lets not forget the really unfunny quiz ' the village idiot' more thick bastards on the radio and its introduced by a VoiceOver fro Bristol way!

Stupid fucking Scouse cunts ( I can say that because no one in my family rides so won't see this).

BTW John Bishop is not a scouser either....

 

Doesn't matter where you was born. It's where you was dragged up. Now keep off google

 

Yup Lee, totally right.

I like John Bishop's accent. It's like "old Scouse"

 

But plenty people on this forum are !

 

Old scouse... Haha more like fake scouse.

And I'm really sorry if any clever Scousers on here thought I was having a pop at them. At least you're not from Widnes.

 

You have this way that even if you say "I'm sorry if..,", it still sounds like an insult....

 

Coz it fucking is. Well done. You're nearly one of the clever ones.

 

Nearly? I'll ask the IQ of 125 about that shall I?

I'd love to know why you joined a forum merely to insult everyone and be a total cunt.

 

clearly not just stepped over the line but now hes jumping on it... absolute peice of fucking skum. gonna end up insulting the wrong person and really regretting it

 

Ask all you want but if you kept your beak out you wouldn't beds to ask.

 

Ah. JVid doesn't want anyone to join in. So happy to insult, but would prefer me to "keep my beak" out.

Nope. Not gonna happen. For some reason, I can't help but feed this troll.